Who am I?

Oct 23, 2019

“For some people, retiring means a loss of status and self-definition.  They may even feel as though they no longer have an identity.”  Serious About Retiring, Temuna Press, 2019, p. 40

If you are not yet retired and still working, is your work what you do or who you are?  If it is the latter, what does it mean to give up your work?  It could feel like losing your identity.  Some have described retirement as leaping off a cliff or jumping into a void.

There are many aspects of your work, including its income, the work itself, and your interpersonal interactions.  Losing any of these features can be good or bad, depending on how the job has met your needs and wants and how desirable the alternatives are.  When your work defines who you are, retiring can be a blow to your sense of self.

Consider, for example the identity issues for a physician whose job includes curing the sick and saving lives.  The physician is respected and admired by patients and the community at large.  Being a doctor is one of the most prestigious jobs.  The job position might have been with his / her own medical practice, or he / she could have affiliated with a hospital or other care provider.  That affiliation can be an important part of his / her identity as well.

Retiring can mean the loss of many things including being a member of a profession and the connection to their organization.  Retiring will mean the loss of their professional network which provided education and support.  The fully retired physician no longer gets to use their difficult-to-attain training and experience.  And also their talents and skills.  These are all part of the physician’s identity.  Many retired doctors want to be addressed as Doctor long after they have stopped practicing medicine.  This is an indication of the importance of this identity for them and their desire to continue it.

Some doctors retire because they can no longer do the work.  Others might leave because of the attraction of new activities.  Or they may have had enough, sometimes of the non-medical aspects of their jobs such as using computers or filling out paperwork or dealing with bureaucratic rules.  Retiring for them can be like taking off a heavy backpack.  Leaving work could give them the freedom and lightness to proceed possibly in a different direction.

Identity issues are not just for physicians or other professionals.  Business owners for example frequently identify strongly with their business.  It can be challenging for a business owner to sell the business or watch it fail.  They can have painful adjustment issues to contend with.

So what are the alternatives for dealing with the loss of identity from leaving a job and career?

1. Move on. This means finding a new identity with compelling activities to do.  The activities might be oriented around developing your roles, e.g. parent, grandparent, member of a community.  Or it could be based on a hobby or other interest.  Or it could be “I have always wanted to _______”  and then doing it.  Moving on is a solution to the loss of identity that is simple to describe.  Such a transition might be smooth for some, but it could be far from easy for others.  It is the answer to the question of “What are you up to these days?”  You will know that you have made a successful transition from your past identity when you mention doing something else and your eyes light up with enthusiasm when describing it.
2. Many people continue working during retirement.  Your work could be doing something very similar but with less stress.  It could mean fewer hours worked – per day or week or season or year.  It could also mean work with similar responsibilities but for a different organization or in a different industry.  If you do not need the income from a new job, your new activities could be doing something similar but volunteering your services for a nonprofit, friend or neighbor.
3. Continue old connections. There is an intermediate approach between no overlap and substantial overlap between the old and new.  You can move on to something different from your previous work but still continue some aspects of it. For example, you can continue to be a member of your previous professional organization, attend its meetings or serve on its committees.  You can volunteer with and through the professional organization.  You can subscribe to and read its professional journals.  Through a mix of activities, you may still feel connected.

It is important to be aware of the role of work in your life and your sense of self.  Plan for what to do about that when you retire.  After you retire, if someone asks you, “What do you?” what will you say?

Retirement so far

Aug 7, 2019

Everyone has their own unique retirement journey. Here is mine. You may get some ideas for your own.

Work journey

I grew up in the Sputnick era and majored in Chemistry in college. My first professional job was in graduate school where I was an assistant in a chemistry lab and did research. Over nearly 25 years I had many achievements, including a PhD degree from UC Berkeley under the supervision of a Nobel laureate, a fellowship in the Medical School at UW Madison, a biochemistry teaching job at UMass at Amherst, many federal research grants and publications, and working in the computer area for a number of years.

Retirement Chapter 1

Investing was my hobby from the age of 8 – it was a father-son shared activity. In my early 40’s I turned my hobby and passion into my profession. This was very exciting for me, the fulfillment of a dream that I at first did not realize was a possibility. I had flexibility with my time and was able to take many vacations each year. I felt almost like I was retired!

This new career was easy and enjoyable, although there was much to learn. My job contained many firsts – learning about insurance and planning in addition to investments, hiring my first employee who eventually became my business partner, meeting and helping many interesting people, and running my own business. My first ten years were at The Equitable (now called AXA).

Retirement Chapter 2

After ten years, I launched an independent financial planning practice. Four years later, while on vacation, I had a heart attack that nearly killed me. I reflected on why I had not died. I realized that my financial planning work was much more than a job. It was my calling – to use my God-given talents to improve the lives of others.

Over the next 14 years I built up my business. I was working but I also was spending my time on my hobby—so I might have been retired.

Retirement Chapter 3

At age 68 I decided to retire (again?), at least partly, by cutting back on my work load. Another advisor offered to take over most of my business and provide service to the rest of my clients. I retained only a fifth of my previous clients, and the other advisor provided substantial support to me as I worked with him.

Surely I was retired then. Or partly retired. In celebration of my newly available non-work time I embarked on a few conventional retirement activities:

• I joined a bike club for seniors—we do 20 bike-mile trips on Wednesday mornings.
• I wrote a book— Serious About Retiring.
• I started taking cello lessons.

Retirement Chapter 4

At the end of this year I will be retiring fully from my financial planning practice. I will continue my activities of biking, writing, and playing cello. But I also have other activities in mind.

My wife Lucy Rose is a gerontologist, artist and writer. Her fifth book on aging, Grow Old With Me, comes out in September. We plan to speak together on aging topics starting in October of this year and in coming years.

I am also gearing up to do retirement coaching for people who need help transitioning to retirement. This will be a way to continue on my calling of helping people.

Some observations on retiring

I see retirement as another life stage that offers an opportunity to increase the quality of your life. A better life means growing as a person, making more of a contribution to people around you and having an impact.

Friends ask me, Are you really retired or still working? I don’t care what you call it—I’m having an exciting and fulfilling life.

I wish the same for you. I would love to get your comments and answer your questions about your own journey. Contact me at Mark@SeriousAboutRetiring.com

Achievement in retirement

Jun 11, 2019

Do you enjoy your work? Do you have a sense of achievement from your work? Perhaps at work you use your creativity and push yourself to overcome your own personal obstacles or limitations. Your work may help you to grow and develop. Your work accomplishments might give you a sense of satisfaction, even pride and joy. Such accomplishments may be noticed by others and earn their respect – a huge potential perk from being successful while working with others.

 If so, what will replace your sense of achievement when you retire?

 Work used to be what you did before you retired into a life of leisure. Its major function was to provide income. But both work and retirement are changing. With much longer life expectancies, there can be much more of retirement than there used to be.

 Here is a dictionary definition of work – “an activity to achieve a purpose or result.” With that definition it is easier to understand that work can be included in your life both before and after retirement.

 All of this raises the question of the role of work in your retirement, if any. If your pre-retirement work is providing you with the satisfactions of achievement and contribution to others, what happens when the work ends?

 Consider the situation of Steve who retired in his 60’s. Steve had been an operations manager—well respected in his field. For a couple of years after he retired, he found himself at a loss. He found having too much time sapped his energy. He was too young, he thought, not to be productive or to be making a significant contribution to his community.

 He started looking around for something to do. His wife suggested that he volunteer at “Feed My Starving Children,” which provides a million meals a day to starving children around the world. He did that.

 Steve worked there part-time for several years as a volunteer. Now he is paid as a staff member. He does part-time recruiting of young and old volunteers to help in the organization’s mission. His work provides significant help for children who need food and through that provides a lasting legacy as well. The efforts and accomplishments of the organization are aligned with Steve’s own personal values. It provides him with a sense of purpose.

 When you retire you can choose from many alternatives. You can decide not to end your work completely. You might be able to continue working part-time in the same or similar job. Second, like Steve you can choose from a huge variety of paid and unpaid part-time work opportunities in the same or different fields.

 If you’re lucky enough to have enough income to support yourself, retirement can be a time of freedom to choose and to change. You can try out various activities and continue or not. In fact, many retirees experiment during the earlier years of their retirement to find the right opportunity for them.

 Think again about the definition of work, which is an activity to achieve a purpose or result. Is helping children or parents or grandchildren work? Yes–work can be fun! Is pursuing a passion work? It can be. All of these and many others can be ways for you to continue to be fully alive, to accomplish important activities and to contribute to the common good.

 If work activities in retirement are somewhat challenging and push you out of your comfort zone, that can be helpful too. There is some recent research evidence that activities which challenge your brain can forestall dementia. Equally important is that work in retirement can be exciting and meaningful. In retirement you have the freedom to have your best years yet.

Making a BIG Goal Happen

Apr 23, 2019

Something BIG, a Bold Imaginative Goal, can add meaning to your retirement and lead to an amazing life.  (See my last blog.)

How can you make a BIG project actually happen?  Consider three examples:  launching a business, learning a foreign language, or developing a great relationship with grandchildren.

 Launch a business.  You may have always wanted to do this.  But you might tell yourself messages about why it can’t or won’t happen.  You might not be sure what kind of business to launch, you did not go to business school, and you’ve never done this before.  But you are still interested.

Making this BIG idea happen could mean figuring out

• what business idea gets you excited,
• what societal or marketplace problem your idea will solve,
• what resources you will need,
• whom to get help from and work with, and
• how to pitch the idea.

Notice that the key questions are not if you can do this, but how you will do this.  All involve extensive brainstorming with other people.

Learn a foreign language.  This might seem to be an enormous challenge as you age, because you notice that you even have trouble remembering words in English.  This project can have several scopes.  You can take a language class in person or on the computer, or you can find a language immersion program.  You can join a language club where you have frequent opportunities to use it.  You can plan an extended stay with lots of touring in a foreign country, maybe even take a class there in that language.

Develop a great relationship with your grandchildren.  Your BIG idea could be to develop a special relationship with your grandchildren.  You might spend extensive time with grandchildren on a regular basis, when they are young and their parents are at work.  When they are older you can take them traveling to anywhere they want to go.  Or you can encourage them to follow their own dreams by spending money to send them to camp or pay for special lessons of their choice.  Or you could introduce them to people who are farther along pursuing interests similar to their own and could become your grandchildren’s mentors.

Doing something amazing in retirement may push you out of your comfort zone.  Here are some ideas that may accelerate your success.

• Look for concrete examples of people who have had success. They can be role models for you to follow.
• Think about a variety of ideas before picking one to try. Read, brainstorm with others, and Google. Courage and commitment are necessary.  Nothing good comes without them.

 Anything you do that is BIG will be outside your comfort zone.  How far you want to go outside the comfort zone is up to you.  If not enough to stretch you, it may not give you much satisfaction.  If too far, you could get discouraged and give up.  So here are two other ideas for making it work.

• Break your project down into small steps. Success in finishing those steps will give you a sense of accomplishment and the courage to proceed.
• Having a positive attitude will be critical. Especially for a big project, you will most likely get discouraged at times.  Focus as much on your progress as on the goal itself.  This is the “glass-is-half-full” approach.

 Let me know your progress on your own BIG retirement projects. With your permission, I’ll share your stories so you can inspire others!

Something BIG in Retirement

Apr 10, 2019

Retirement is another opportunity to have an amazing life.  What will make this stage of life amazing for you?

What do you most want to do and accomplish over the rest of your life?  What do you regret never having had a chance to do before?

Stephen Covey, in his book First  Things First, tells a story about a bucket.  An instructor fills a bucket with big rocks. He asks his students if the bucket is full.  Then he proceeds to add first small stones into the bucket, then sand, and finally water.  When he asks the students about their interpretation of the exercise, they conclude that there is always room for more.  But no, the instructor says, not unless you put the big rocks in first!

What are your big rocks?

Nowadays, in the 21^st century, your retirement could be as long as your working years.  You may well have the time, money, and energy to accomplish many amazing things.

Even so, a lifetime is finite—like the space inside the bucket is finite.

When you have a full-time job, your job is one of your biggest rocks.  When you take that rock out of your bucket, there is a big hole to fill.  You can fill it with the equivalent of small stones, sand and water – or you can find something else BIG, another big rock.

BIG is an acronym for Bold Imaginative Goal.  Here are some examples:

• Launching a business
• Learning a foreign language
• Learning to play a musical instrument
• Developing a special relationship with grandchildren
• Changing the world

Here are some examples of people whom I have met who did just that.

• Jerry was a very successful professional in a specialized field. On the side while working he would write stories about his youth and get some of the published.  When he was in his 70’s, he decided that he had had enough of his regular work and retired.  So in his 80’s he compiled his stories into a book and published it.  Then he did it again.  Then he wanted to write about his professional career.  He did that too.
• Joel loved working with children as a Social Worker. Then he went to law school and worked for Legal Aid.  He got a job in a “real” law firm and again was very successful.  Now retired and in his 60’s he wanted to work but not at a job.  So now he volunteers at Legal Aid, at a school for problem kids and at another nonprofit.
• Jan was always an activist and worked for a while in local government. A life-long learner, at age 60, she went back to school to get a PhD.  Now in her late 80’s she continues in her work as an activist, with a focus on improving opportunities for older people. She has founded several grass-roots organizations active here and in other countries .
• Bill is a tennis player, retired from a professional career, who continues to play tennis and beat others a generation younger.
• John is a Delta pilot who was forced to retire at age 65. He still had his energy and great health and wanted to continue flying.  So he is now a pilot with a smaller company.
• Channah is a widow in her 90’s who has trouble getting around but has all of her wits. She lives in a Senior Facility, goes to every cultural event available there, and takes an Uber when she needs to go to others off campus.
• Harvey is a retired principal in his 80’s who is on the Boards of many nonprofits. He and his wife Sharon Ann pull their large extended family together multiple times each year for awesome gatherings.

Writing my book Serious About Retiring (coming May 1!) has been a BIG rock for me.  And I plan to do a lot around the book—speaking, holding workshops, counseling individuals—so this will be my rock for a long time. Also, I continue to progress slowly in learning the cello, which I started at age 73 (see my blog on this.)  I have some ideas for long bicycle trips too.  We’ll see.

I would love to hear about your BIG rocks. Tell me about what you are doing or will do so your retirement will be amazing.